Thursday, September 30, 2010

Day 157- Transition - Feelings just below the surface

the bright spot
It is over 5 months now without work.  The Last severance check came today.  From this time on, our monthly expenses will be exceeding our monthly income unless we can make some big cuts.
This ending has caused quite a bit of anxiety, dread, and even fear to surface.  There has been fear and anxiety all through this experience, but the last couple weeks has seemed worse.  Somewhere in the back of my mind I had assumed that I would be hired by now.  That we would be set back some, but that we would be able to get up and get going fairly rapidly.  
As I have prepared myself for this interruption in my career, I have thought about the long term, about being unemployed for a long time.  And I have meet many people that have been out of work for well over a year as reminders not to forget this reality of our present times.   And with all of that, somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I had held onto an anticipation that I would be hired by now.  That I would find that perfect job and begin again: a new company, a new position, a wealth of learning, a temporary side journey, a nuisance of sorts: but not an overwhelming obstacle.
It has been the clinging to this thought, that has caused my turmoil over the last few weeks.  The fear of losing this and entering an unknown territory.
Fear is a constricting emotion.  On the savannah, when the lions were hunting, this fear caused our attention to narrow.  We stopped being able to see the berries or grub worms that would make a great meal, and instead we would intently listen for any noise  and scan for any movement of a large cat.  This emotion would keep us alive.
Today the emotion is not always so useful.  My narrowing has meant frantic motion to find a job.  The narrowing has meant that I have forgone exercising and working on the remodel.  The house hasn’t been as well maintained.  Last week with my wife out of town, I didn’t take the time to prepare a weekly meal plan.  I’m sure this probably cost us extra in groceries.
Last week I went to the ProLango training sessions, (see  day 153).  These are good classes, and they are feeder classes for the paid set of course that accompany them.   One of the claims of the class is, “You need to get going.  There are several large companies, especially a huge software company in town that is planning to lay off thousands near Christmas.  You have to get hired before you have to compete with these also. “ 
Was it just a sales tactic?  Was it true?  In either case it played on that fear that I was feeling.  It increased the anxiety that I was feeling.  It made me consider whether I should I be signing up for the next classes. 
I think I need to do a few things to counter act this fear that I am feeling.  The first is to release what ever anticipation I was holding about how the future was supose to work.  This journey will take as long as it takes.  What I need to do is to make the next step and every step is the best that I can.  I have to work hard to find a new job, I have to do uncomfortable and unfamiliar things, and I have to learn new ways of being.  But I have been doing this since the start so this isn’t something new. 
I need to take a longer look and see what has been working and what needs to change since the start and use this as the basis for improving what I have been doing.  Not let fear or other emotions control what I am doing.
Months ago, I made some crude estimates about finances and I have used this rough estimate up to now.  It is time that this get a bit more detailed.  I need to get a fairly accurate plan of our finances for the next couple of years.  I’m hoping this doesn’t involve tons of work.  But this plan will help relieve some anxiety of the unknown.
And lastly, I need to look for the ways that keep my attention opened up.  Exercising and meditating are great at this.   I had cut down on exercising because I injured my foot, now it is time to get back to full speed.  Taking small periods of time to meditate would be beneficial in many different ways.   A third area that helps my open my attention is by spending time in nature.  This I can combine with the exercising to gain great benefit.
To often we underestimate how quickly our feelings are going to change because we underestimate our ability to change them. 
                                            
-- David Gilbert, Ph.D

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Sunday, September 26, 2010

Day 153 – Good Courses to Take

This week I attended 2 of 3 workshops offered ProLangoPaul Anderson, a Seattle Times columnist, one of two that writes the HireGround, does the presentation and is one of the principles of ProLango.   These free workshops are offered twice per month and are a feeder for the more advanced workshops that he charges for.
The three workshops are:
Career Search Optimization is the one that I missed. 
Resume Search optimization deals with how companies process the 900+ applications they receive for each position advertised and how to get noticed in this crowd.  Little things like handing your resume to someone and having them read it for 7 seconds.  How far do they get.  This is an average amount of time a HR representative spends reading your resume.  Does this leave the person with the impression that you intended?  Does it convey the information need in order to insure that you move on to the next step in the getting the interview?
He talked about rewriting your resume for each and every job application.  First for the computer matching the key words found in the job requisition.  Second, for the HR person. And third, the most important the reading by the hiring manager. 
Of course, what you really want to be aiming at is circumventing this process by getting to the hiring manager first.  This is where the networking aspect comes in.
This workshop has me reevaluating my processes.  I have gotten away from doing the deep text analysis that I was doing early on, now I have started doing this again.  I have become more aggressive in rewriting my resume to fit the job.  And this has reinvigorated my actions.
The advance interviewing process touched on the normal things like getting prepared through research and dressing right though the biggest part of the message had to do more with the psychological parts of the interview like building rapport and behavior types.
Mirroring is a great  technique for quickly building rapport with others.   Paul indicated that paying attention to the style of person you are dealing with:
  1. Visual – rapid speech and breathing, looks up.  Uses visual words like “I see what you mean.
  2. Verbal – slower speech and breathing.  looks more straight out.  Uses verbal words like “I hear that”
  3. Kinesthetic- Slow talker  and slowest breathing as they translate feelings/emotions into words.  Tends to look down.  Uses feeling words:  “I feel your pain.”
One way to mirror is to change your style to match the style of the interviewer.  What we didn’t get into, which Paul said is covered for an 1/2 hour in the advance classes is how to do this with an interview panel.
The next level of mirroring is where you copy the movements bk-unlimited-powerof the interviewer as best you can without appearing sarcastic.  These are techniques that Tony Robins talks about in his works like the book “Unlimited Power.”
I felt the two workshops that I attended were great and highly recommend that people go to these.  They have been working on my thinking and my approach all week.  I will have to struggle with whether to take the advance courses.  They are reasonably priced at $400 for 3 courses at 4 hour, but $400  is something that has to be deeply considered now.
My first step will be to attend the one that I missed, career search optimization.  Others that I talked to indicated that it was really good also.  Then I will try to implement as much as I can myself and then see the results I get.  Then I will consider whether it is worth it to spend the money.
True clarity can come only when someone is willing to notice: There is something I do not know, the knowing of which could change everything.
-- Werner Erhard
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Trisha’s poster

Living donor candidate is flying to Phoenix this week for final determination of match.  Hopefully, this will put in motion the final preparations for Trisha’s liver transplant and eventual health.

Donations will be used to offset the cost to the living donor/care givers which is not covered by insurance.

Here is a poster for the fundraiser

trish_fundraising_poster

To donate click on the chip in button in the last post.

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Saturday, September 18, 2010

Day 145 - Transition – Two sides, same coin

 

Heads,

I attended last week’s networking session at WorkSource.  This has been a great resource.  They try to get a guest speaker each week, but this week for some Double-Eagle-Gold-Coinunknown reason he didn’t make it.   Not to worry, the organizers broke us into small groups to improve our networking.  We went around the table introduced ourselves, gave a little background and then explained what we were looking for.   Those that had written their elevator speeches could try them out.  We spent about 20 minutes per table and switched tables for a total of three rounds.

What struck me, well maybe scared me is a better word, was the number of people that had been out of work for 1 1/2 years or more.  At first, I thought, well maybe I can detect something wrong with them.  Something that would explain we they were out of work so long.  But that isn’t what going on here.  These were all outstanding people, caught up in this economic turmoil.   One gal added a few months because she needed to take care of her parents, other than that I didn’t find that magic “Oh, that explains it.”  They were all normal people, with families, wanting to work, looking for work, and not able to find it. 

Years  ago Boeing used the layoff cycle to get rid of dead wood, people so down trodden by the large corporate system that they have given up.  I remember years ago coming into work and seeing people bring a newspaper or Wall Street Journal in and then proceed to read it from cover to cover.    Their jobs only needed their attention part of the day.   Many of these jobs had been built into the system this way or had changed as new technology came on board.  It was these types of jobs that earned Boeing the name Lazy B.  Through many years of re-organization after re-organization, cut after cut, these jobs all disappeared.  Now each round of cuts is deep.  The march of technology and productivity continues to cut deeper.

Before I was laid off, I thought I was immune to the cuts.  Boy was I living in “la la land”.  I have friends I know that were laid off from Boeing, some have been looking for work much longer than I have.  I have been looking for over 4 months, not counting the pre-layoff looking and I keep thinking that the right position is right around the corner.  Keep thinking that the economic recovery is just around the corner. 

Now, I’m wondering if I have still have my head in “la la land”.  The idea of going another year or more looking for work is chilling to think about.  I wonder what the ramifications for my family will be.  I wonder how deeply the cuts will be, and how long the wounds will take to heal.  And I wonder about my fortitude to get through this.

These thoughts tend to take me out of the here and now, and make me worry about the future that is guaranteed to different than my thoughts about it.

 

The Flip Side,

A friend just found work.  He had been looking for over 16 months.  He found a great job working with a great organization.  After thinking about it, he was thankful for all the time he had spent looking.  It may not have been what he wanted but looking back it was what he needed.

Others have said the same.  While they wouldn’t wish it on anyone, and they wouldn’t want to have to go through it again, all the same, it was a time that they wouldn’t give up and was important in the growth it provided.

Trying times are like this; the spirit works in nontraditional ways.   When times are good and everything is happening along the lines of our expectations, it is like we fall asleep somewhere along the way or get lazy in our ability to stay focused.  Trying times aren’t the times that we hope for, but they wake us up and can be a time of tremendous growth, especially spiritually.

So in this way, I look forward to the trials and tribulations that are here and coming around the corner.  Not for martyrdom or mortification, but for the opportunity to grow, to become deeper in spirit.

This leads me to thoughts about how I can best use this time for this growth.  My feeling is that what ever preconceived thoughts about where and how this growth will happen will be wrong.  So the best answer I have come up with is to try to remain present; to try to see and understand all that is happening and then to deeply reflect upon it.  And through this reflection, try to become a better person—try to become a better husband, father, brother, and friend. 

I gave 22 years toiling at Boeing and I toiled for several years before Boeing.  When all is said and done, this interruption, this pause between the in breath and out breath, will be but a passing moment in a long life.  A passing moment that holds the promise of great growth.

The idea behind footprints in the sand is of great comfort to me.  More than once in my life I felt carried through times when hope was lost.  And each time, I came out the other side stronger and more thankful.  

 

image

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Friday, September 10, 2010

Remodel - Great progress.

 

In my last blog I wrote about how unexpected things come up and change the plan.  I talked about my oldest brother coming to town as a care giver for a liver transplant patient.  The benefits of this on the remodeling was that he helped my with taking out the sheet rock in the basement, so great progress has been made in the basement this last week.


Here are some before pictures on the basement:

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Day 136 - Transition – Life by a thousand pats on the back

The top of the Space Needle in Seattle, Washington

Image via Wikipedia

 

Have been looking at my productivity or value in a number of different ways over the past few weeks. 

As the time grinds on, it is hard to maintain a positive perspective on the process of finding a job in this economy.  Maintaining a positive perspective has many different aspects and through this journey a change that has taken place in when I feel valued.  When I feel more valued, my perspective is more positive. 

When working, each two weeks Boeing would send a fat check to confirm that value that I was bringing to the corporation.  Now with severance and unemployment, I’m getting paid for past value and not for present value creation and at times I have wondered if I am bringing any value. 

I have at least three areas of value creation or service that I am still working.  The first being a stay at home Dad and taking care of the house and meals.  And the second being my house remodel.  The third is in improving my health.

Looking for a job is a necessary activity, and I receive positive psychological rewards when a great job requisition is found, the call comes in to interview, or just going through an interview process.  But there is also stress related to the not hearing, my lack of patience, and then the death by a thousand paper cuts from the little rejections received on a daily basis.  This seems like a different  than providing value.

See more on keeping positive…