Other Dribblings: Day 120 – Transition

I try to attend the Lynnwood WorkSource networking group every Monday morning. The last few have been especially good. Today’s was presented by Dr. Elisabeth VanderWeil and she title the presentation: Fear: Use it or Be Used Up by It. Her presentation was good and the conversation it generated in the group was excellent. Part of the allure of the networking group is in being able to relate and network with people in the same boat and having the same feelings.
I thought I would share the notes that I took here since this is not just good for someone going through unemployment, but also pertains all facets of our daily lives.
People think of fear as a one size fits all. Fear of spiders and fear of speed can seem like the same things. But fear comes in all sorts of the shapes, sizes, degrees and types. Fear is as complicated an emotion as Love is.

Flavors of Fear

Alarm	Dismay	Intimidation
Apprehension	Dread	Panic
Awe	Fright	Reverence
Anxiety	Horror	Timid
Concern	Terror	Veneration
Consternation	Hysteria	Worry
Creeps

Questions that help you define and work with fear:

	Where do you feel your fear?
How high is the Volume (Intensity)?		What is it telling You?
	How will you (do you choose to) respond?

Range of responses:

FIGHT	FLIGHT	FREEZE
Overcome feared object	Flee feared object	Stop to assess feared object

FAKE	CARE	CONNECT
Change appearance or sound to drive away feared object	Address needs of feared object	Establish relationship with feared object

Learning to be able to use the full range of responses and to be able to sit with fear a bit is important.
The full experience of fear includes the full range of responses. to use fear to achieve your goals is the determine how feeling scared can be healthy, a gift, the door to creative solutions, and the ultimate alert system to draw your attention to what is truly important for you right now.
We listened to this song and then commented on the lyrics.

The Power of Fear
We all have fears and we all have power. An exercise we did was to go around the room and give a place where we have power or gain power.

“Where there is fear, there’s power. It also works backwards. Where there’s power there is fear. We’re afraid to look at power because one of the deepest prohibitions is that against seeing how power operates.”
- Starhawk

How are you wielding your power?
What is the source of the power influencing you right now?
How much fear comes up when you “touch” that power?
What level of risk are you willing to accept to achieve your goal?

To be afraid of something is proof positive that it hasn’t happened.
- Galvin deBecker

Know you power. Know what brings you joy. This is your life, the life that you are continuously creating. Don’t compare yourself to others. Comparison=Misery.

An exercise for working with fear:

Create the image of a fearful situation in your mind. Be detailed. You brain doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is made up. The fears that would arise in the real situation should arise in the simulation. And then you can practice on your responses.

Write down the image in detail

Note how and where you are feeling fear.

What experiences from the past might help you in this situation. Bring them into the simulation.

What new responses could you try out?

This is not a one time exercise, but rather a exercise you repeated practice so that you new responses come automatically.
Another tool is the center with you breath.

References:
A film that was mentioned as an example of how we create our reality: