Other Dribblings: Anxiety

Showing posts with label Anxiety. Show all posts

Monday, May 30, 2011

More Learning

When in the OSR Masters program, I learned about Punctuated Equilibrium points. These are points or milestones in a system where change becomes chaotic and it is no longer possible to predict what will emerge from a system. At these points, small inputs can have enormous effects in the final outcomes.

As a system passes through a punctuated equilibrium point, the foundation of the system—the parts of the system that keep it stable and unchanging—are loosened. In human systems, I believe this means that changes can be introduced that would normal seem impossible, but which can seemingly be accomplished with relative ease.

Think of people that have gone through near death experiences, some make whole scale changes in their lifestyles and never look back. After having a Heart attack many people stop smoking after years and years of feeble attempts. Other people don’t change at all. They somehow have a belief that the way it was is the only way it can be and this belief informs their choices going forward. Many people knowing that smoking will kill them, smoke through heart attacks and lung cancer up until the bitter end or until the explosive oxygen they are using to breath precludes them from smoking—else they blow themselves up.

It is almost like the normal laws of cause and effect don’t apply as we go through these punctuated points.

Extension

After being lulled by the security of 20+ years at Boeing it is amazing how much my expectations and fear levels have changed or maybe it just a change in my time horizons. Today, I was informed that my 6 month position at UW has been extended to 10 months.

To me this is great news from a couple of perspectives. The first is that I don’t have to focus on getting a new job until after the summer is over. So I can continue to focus on the getting ready for the STP and I can get back to focusing on completing our remodel. Over the last few months my increased focus on work and biking has translated into not making much progress on the remodel.

The second area for which this represents good news, is that they are recognizing my value for helping with what they are trying to accomplish. I am enjoying what I am doing, and feel truly valued for what I am able to accomplish.

I’m not sure that this will turn into a permanent position, but I think that the possibility is a step closer. This is where I’m feeling my perspective is changing. Getting a permanent position would be icing on the cake, but it isn’t as so all fired important as it was before. Getting through the fall is enough for now. Not having to look for a job is a great benefit. Being able to do something that I’m enjoying and feel valued for is a great benefit.

I’m feeling better able to handle whatever happens. I may need to go back on unemployment, be without work for a while, or go for work with a whole new company; but I can handle it and it won’t be the end of the world. In fact, I can thrive through this situation and come out better in end. At Boeing, I fooled myself into thinking that I was in a secure situation when I wasn’t. Being a little more secure would be nice, but isn’t as important as I thought it was.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Day 276–Transition—Uptick

Maybe it is just wishful thinking, but it seems that starting last Thursday there was a noticeable uptick in job activity in the areas I search. The number of job requisitions I go through each day has increased and the number of jobs that see that turn out to be of interest for applying has seemed to go up.

At the same time, my personal job hunting activity has gone up. This week I have four interviews and I have 4 possibilities for positions in the works. Three are shorter term contracts that could lead to longer term employment and one is a full time position. This is the most activity that I have seen since I was laid off.

Each of these four has come about in a different way. One was from an interview from December. I wasn’t chosen, but my resume was passed on to someone else. One came from a recruiter seeing my LinkedIn profile and then contacting me directly. One is from some personal networking I had done with friend. And the last is from a job requisition that I put in near the end of the year.

The timing for hiring at Boeing usually comes after budgets are finalized and released. This seems to happen towards the mid or end of February. The Pace of Boeing jobs has remain constant since moving lower for the holidays around the end of November. I’m wondering if other big companies have this same sort of beginning of the year delays. If they do, then the next few weeks could see even more improvement in the jobs market.

This has combined to improve my outlook on the situation. It was hard for me to remain upbeat at the end of 2010. But the sun is out today, and the outlook seems bright. Bright, not just for finding a job, but for finding a a position where I can bring all of my talents to bear in helping organizations, teams, and individuals become more productive and to expand their boundaries or concepts of themselves. This is what I love to do and I do this as a organizational change management consultant and by helping in with continuous process improvement. With this uptick, I’m seeing more of these positions, and with that an uptick in my personal emotional situation is taking place.

I hope the sun keeps shining!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Day 262 - Transition - Taking Stock

It is the beginning of the year. For many years I have spent January reflecting on what has happened in the last year and what, if anything needs to change in my goals and behaviors going forward. It is a time of taking stock and deciding what to focus on in the coming year.

I can’t believe this transition phase in my career has lasted as long as it has. I was easily prepared to last 6 months, figuring that I would be able to find something in that time. Even as I was planning this, I was hearing that the average time to find a job was taking 8 months. Now I’m moving past this mark and not feeling good about it.

In order to last 6 months or more I decided to set my priorities as the following:

Day 200–Transition–The Saga Continues

Image via Wikipedia

I can’t believe that this is day 200. This journey continues with little or no end in site. Today I learned that 13,000 people will lose extended unemployment benefits in just King County later this month. That is a lot of people being affected and that is just one county in the state (though most populous).

Over the last week and a half I got my hopes way up high and had them crashed to the ground. A job I interviewed for, seemed like they were going to extend an offer, but in the end they did not. I really thought this was going to be the one. I was a fool.

Today I had the privilege to a keynote presenter at a local community college staff workshop. It was nice to do some work in my field, something I that I really enjoy doing, as opposed to searching and filling out job requisitions. I did an 1 1/2 hour session called Leading from the inside out. This was a series of exercises designed to help people find the passions that they can use to drive their personal leadership.

Day 120 – Transition - FEAR

I try to attend the Lynnwood WorkSource networking group every Monday morning. The last few have been especially good. Today’s was presented by Dr. Elisabeth VanderWeil and she title the presentation: Fear: Use it or Be Used Up by It. Her presentation was good and the conversation it generated in the group was excellent. Part of the allure of the networking group is in being able to relate and network with people in the same boat and having the same feelings.
I thought I would share the notes that I took here since this is not just good for someone going through unemployment, but also pertains all facets of our daily lives.
People think of fear as a one size fits all. Fear of spiders and fear of speed can seem like the same things. But fear comes in all sorts of the shapes, sizes, degrees and types. Fear is as complicated an emotion as Love is.

Flavors of Fear

Alarm	Dismay	Intimidation
Apprehension	Dread	Panic
Awe	Fright	Reverence
Anxiety	Horror	Timid
Concern	Terror	Veneration
Consternation	Hysteria	Worry
Creeps

Questions that help you define and work with fear:

	Where do you feel your fear?
How high is the Volume (Intensity)?		What is it telling You?
	How will you (do you choose to) respond?

Range of responses:

FIGHT	FLIGHT	FREEZE
Overcome feared object	Flee feared object	Stop to assess feared object

FAKE	CARE	CONNECT
Change appearance or sound to drive away feared object	Address needs of feared object	Establish relationship with feared object

Learning to be able to use the full range of responses and to be able to sit with fear a bit is important.
The full experience of fear includes the full range of responses. to use fear to achieve your goals is the determine how feeling scared can be healthy, a gift, the door to creative solutions, and the ultimate alert system to draw your attention to what is truly important for you right now.
We listened to this song and then commented on the lyrics.

The Power of Fear
We all have fears and we all have power. An exercise we did was to go around the room and give a place where we have power or gain power.

“Where there is fear, there’s power. It also works backwards. Where there’s power there is fear. We’re afraid to look at power because one of the deepest prohibitions is that against seeing how power operates.”
- Starhawk

How are you wielding your power?
What is the source of the power influencing you right now?
How much fear comes up when you “touch” that power?
What level of risk are you willing to accept to achieve your goal?

To be afraid of something is proof positive that it hasn’t happened.
- Galvin deBecker

Know you power. Know what brings you joy. This is your life, the life that you are continuously creating. Don’t compare yourself to others. Comparison=Misery.

An exercise for working with fear:

Create the image of a fearful situation in your mind. Be detailed. You brain doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is made up. The fears that would arise in the real situation should arise in the simulation. And then you can practice on your responses.

Write down the image in detail

Note how and where you are feeling fear.

What experiences from the past might help you in this situation. Bring them into the simulation.

What new responses could you try out?

This is not a one time exercise, but rather a exercise you repeated practice so that you new responses come automatically.
Another tool is the center with you breath.

References:
A film that was mentioned as an example of how we create our reality: