Other Dribblings: 2010

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Happy Holidays for one and for all.

Wishing you the very merriest of holidays for you and your families.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Day 236- Transition - Networking Part IV

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After thinking about it for a while I think I have come up with a way to proceed with the networking series. By looking at the actions that I consider networking I could then look at how I am doing these actions and what tools that I am using to accomplish these. These allowed me to put together a structure to follow over the next few post.

To begin let’s review the definition for networking proposed in the last post:

The activities involved with accomplishing things through people and relating to others. This includes building your social network, using tools like Internet social networking tools, building communities, and maintaining your network.

For the job hunting that I’m doing the purpose of networking is two fold. First, the doing things through people is using my network to connect with those who have positions or information about positions. To get good ideas from people about what I should be doing.

Remodel–On to Sheet Rocking

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The last update on the remodel was given on October 16 and name “slow going”, and slow going it has been. Many reasons for this. The first and foremost reason is that the job search is a never ending job and it is the first priority. Following right behind this is housekeeping and getting meals on the table. In order to get where I’m at I had to lower my priority for working out, since I had a foot injury during much of this time it was a natural trade off. Also the house cleaning and food prep could have used a bit more attention over the last few months.

The majority of my time has been sunk into looking for a job. And instead of this taking less time it seems like it is taking more and more time, as it goes on longer and I get more worried.

Well with all of that, I have managed to complete:

Day 228–Transition–Breaking the Code?

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It has been busy last few weeks. I have wanted to continue on with my networking series of posts, but have not had the time to get back to it. There are several reasons for this. It is the beginning of the Holiday season so going through Thanksgiving took some time away from my normal activities. I also pushed to get the remodel to the point that the sheet rocker can come in. All the cabling and electrical work in the walls is complete.

But the larger reason is two fold. The first is that I think companies are more interested in hiring people, maybe it is a end of the year push or a beginning of the year push, but it has seemed to change in the last couple of months. Companies who are hunkering down to weather bad times, tend not to hire people like me that help with improving their efficiency and productivity. They need people that can keep the factory up and running and not much else. Now people are looking at capturing efficiencies so that they don’t overhire people and so that they can work on the backlog of improvements and changes that have piled up over the last couple years.

The second area that I think has changed is the way that I am applying for jobs. I think I may have finally cracked the code on getting my resume to be seen by people.

Trisha Update–One long Scar.

On the 24th of November at 5 AM Lynda (Trisha’s aunt) went into surgery to have part of her liver removed as a live donation to Trisha. Several hours later Trisha would begin her operation which involved the liver transplant, the removal of her spleen, and the associated blood vessels.
Apparently, the spleen takes over for the liver as it loses functionality, but in order to do that that the blood supply is re-engineered and a mass of intricate blood vessels is created. These all had to be removed and I presume sealed so that they don’t leak.
Everything went great. Trisha now owns a scar that goes all the way across her belly like a big arching rainbow. Since the operation she has been up and walked around. It will take weeks to recover, but she states that she is feeling good.
I talked to my brother last week about Share Life, the organization formed to raise money to support the non-insurance covered expenses of the operation. He indicated that they had raised around $15,000 dollars so far. 5 radio stations in Montana are supporting with advertisements and sales events have been held around Montana. They are looking to turn this into an ongoing 501C3 corporation in order to help others in this same situation.
The recovery is long for both Lynda and Trisha. Also more operations will be needed for Trisha as this was all to get her ready to under go the removal of her colon as a way to stop her underlying disease. So your prayers are still very much needed and appreciated.

LiveJournal Tags: Digestive Disorders,Liver,LIver Transplant,Live donor,Montana,Trisha,Ulerative Colitis,Share Life

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Day 212–Transition–Networking Part III

This UML diagram describes the domain of Faceb...

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It’s a conspiracy of sorts. I started the idea for this series of post on Networking; got into the middle of it and then got lost.   I had a plan, but I’ve been hesitating on moving forward. Mainly, my plan bored me, so I’ve been waiting for something better to come along.
Sometimes networking sounds like a conspiracy of sorts. Sometimes it seems so contrived and dishonest.   We all have seen those people that are overly self promoting; people the come on so strong you want to run and hide from them.   Now looking for work it seems that everyone is saying that I need to become this person. That I need to be putting myself out there. I think I have been guilty of this at certain times in my life, times that I look back on as a lesson in how not to be.
I’m a bit strange in that I like to be in front of groups; I like facilitating groups.   This is more strange because I a somewhat introverted person.   Introversion doesn’t mean that I don’t like to be with people. A great definition given to me a few years looks as introversion/extroversion from the perspective of energy: an extrovert is a person that gains energy by being with more people and feels depleted when isolated and an introvert is a person who gains energy with fewer people around and expends energy when with larger groups. Introversion and extroversion are the two ends of a continuum; each of is unique in where we fall on the scale. This changes depending on particular situations and can also go through major shifts through out your life.
As an example of particular situations making a difference, I become much more introverted in situations in which I’m unfamiliar. Attending an Networking Event , at a place I have never been, filled with people that I don’t know is a recipe for me becoming a uncomfortable wall flower.   While if I was attending a family or a work pot luck you would find me in the thick of the party talking to many people and catching up on the latest in their world and updating them on mine. Both of these are examples of networking. We all do networking, and I think for the most part many of have an edge where the networking becomes uncomfortable or unnatural for us.
Part of my hesitation in moving forward with this series was in being able to understand and articulate this discomfort.
Another part that has been holding me up is in having a concept of the whole. As a systems thinker, I need to see the whole before I can understand the parts. This is synthesis, it is the reverse of analysis. In analysis you take something apart and examine each pieces in order to gain understanding. In order to understand the whole I need some sort of definition which defines the scope of what networking is. I ‘m sure it includes the new tools like LinkedIn and Facebook but these aren’t all of it. It must include these things called business mixers that have become popular of late.   What else should be included?
A friend sent me a note this week and it crystallized a few of the ideas that I was struggling with:

you've blogged a couple times about "networking". that word and that concept just bugs me. strikes me wrong.

Day 200–Transition–The Saga Continues

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I can’t believe that this is day 200. This journey continues with little or no end in site. Today I learned that 13,000 people will lose extended unemployment benefits in just King County later this month. That is a lot of people being affected and that is just one county in the state (though most populous).

Over the last week and a half I got my hopes way up high and had them crashed to the ground. A job I interviewed for, seemed like they were going to extend an offer, but in the end they did not. I really thought this was going to be the one. I was a fool.

Today I had the privilege to a keynote presenter at a local community college staff workshop. It was nice to do some work in my field, something I that I really enjoy doing, as opposed to searching and filling out job requisitions. I did an 1 1/2 hour session called Leading from the inside out. This was a series of exercises designed to help people find the passions that they can use to drive their personal leadership.

Day 195–Transition–Networking Part II

In the last posting, I wrote about what has changed that has caused networking to be so important in today’s job market. In this posting I wanted to cover the things that I am doing for networking. Then in future postings go a little more in depth about some of the tools I am using and what it can do and also the things that I have told that I should do, but haven’t yet.

This blog has been used for two purposes. The first is just for myself, as a way to deeper understand and learn from what I am going through. The second area is for external purposes. These include helping people in a similar situation by sharing what I’m finding and how I‘m approaching things, so that others can improve upon and then hopefully share back what they have learned. This has happened several times. The latest being the additional links on elevator speeches that were provided for sharing with others.

On occasion, I publish links to the blog through my Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn accounts. For social networking those are the big three that I use. I try to keep a fairly constant presence on these. Linking back my latest Twitter posts to my blog.

One of the ways that I provide value on the internet is by sharing thought provoking articles. Over the last couple of months I have grown to find Google reader invaluable in keeping up on articles and blog posts.

Writing has also been a way of networking. The first was by creating a two part blog posting for a international systems thinking organization that I have been associated with for many years. I also write short reviews of other’s blog posting on this site. This keeps my name out in front people and the published articles are now a part of resume.

Day 192 – Transition – Networking Part I

Image by Robert S. Donovan via Flickr

Everywhere I turn for knowledge in this job search the term networking comes up and how important it is in today’s job search. I think it always has been important but even more so today.
I’m thinking of doing a few blog entries on networking because this is such a big and seemingly amorphous topic that I hope that I can bring a little shape to the subject.
First, what has happened in the last few years that makes networking so important?
It has always been the case that knowing people helped in getting a job. The son of the owner, a friend of a manager, or just friend putting in the word that you are a normal person and not some whacko off the street has always made a difference; maybe not if you are that whacko off the street, but otherwise it has.
But what they are talking about now is a change has taken place where knowing someone makes a crucial difference 30 % to 40% of the time. The internet has made deep changes in how people look for a job and how companies screen and this has caused a overwhelming job for hiring managers.

Day 186 - Transition – Additional Elevator Speech Resources

Image via Wik

The exercise of creating an elevator speech is a fantastic exercise. In the time since I have created mine, I have not repeated the full speech yet, but I use it on a regular basis. I my LinkedIn site rewrote using information from this. I constantly rewrite my resume with each job application using the knowledge of my elevator speech to keep the words sharp and crisp. And I have used the information in interviews (in person and on the phone) and other person to person interactions.

The exercise puts your thinking into a concrete form that is readily accessible. Reducing the number of words you are using forces you to prioritize and reduce to your truly essential message.

I’m learning that I did of lousy job of marketing my talents in the years leading up to my layoff. This lack of marketing has made it much harder to play catch up now in trying to convince people of my skills and talents. For this reason, I highly recommend this exercise, even if you are not looking for a job now, as a tool to use in developing and maintaining your network and in marketing your skills and aspirations now.

Trisha Update III

I wanted to provide a bit of an update on the fundraising activity to support Trisha.

Your gift is deeply appreciated. Thank You!

Only seeing the ChipIn! gadget leaves the impression that not much has been raised, but in actuality a lot more has been happening. My niece Jenny sent me the following email update a few days ago:

I really don't have a total $ amount, but I did update what I know. Last weekend some ladies from church sold bracelets as a craft show and brought in around $1300. They did really well!!! We made around $1500 at the first weekend show. Dad and I did a craft show in Bozeman yesterday, it was exhausting and very slow. Only made around $400, but that was more than when we got there!

Remodel – Slow progress

It has taken a while to understand the best way to move forward on the electrical in the basement, but I think I finally have a handle on it and know how to proceed. I was thinking that I would add a new circuit and pull a new line from the garage to the other end of the house in the family room. Instead, I think I will be able to add on to the existing circuit that supplies our guest room.
I’ve also installed insulation in the laundry room, hallway, and in parts of the family room, though some of the installation in the family room will have to come out because in changes to how much new wiring we are doing.
Progress is coming in installing speaker wire for the surround sound system. Here I want to mount all the speakers high on the walls with the majority of the wiring running in the walls.
The greatest progress has been made by my wife and her friend who put in a massive amount of hours last weekend to tile the laundry room and hallway. It looks fantastic, well you can judge for yourself by looking at the pictures below.

Day 170 – Transition- ProLango Resources

The top of the Space Needle in Seattle, Washington

Image via Wikipedia

After two of the three ProLango classes, I was sent out a list of resources that I thought I would share. I haven’t made it through reading all of these so I have no idea how good they are. I do know that I have enjoyed and felt enrich by all of the articles of Paul’s that I have read.

Class 1: Career Optimization Seminar:

How a Black Mark Can Derail a Job Search - The Wall Street Journal
How to stay off the recruiter "blacklist" - NWjobs (The Seattle Times)
The rules for job hunting have changed - The News Tribune
Why is it so hard to find a job today - ProLango Consulting
They’re just not that into you - ProLango Consulting

Class 2: Resume Search Optimization

New cyber-rules for resume writing - NWjobs (The Seattle Times)
Resume Writing Basics - ProLango Consulting

Class 3 :

Can’t find any resources for this one.

Here is a link to Paul’s other online articles:

online column with NWjobs (The Seattle Times)

And this is an interview that Paul did for the Seattle Link Up group that organizes networking sessions each month. The topic of the interview is how to get the most out of these networking events:

http://bit.ly/tsnetwork

I hope you find these useful.

I haven’t had a quote for a while here’s today’s:

In times of change, learners inherit the Earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.

-- Eric Hoffer

Day 157- Transition - Feelings just below the surface (other-dribblings.blogspot.com)

Monday, October 11, 2010

Day 168 – Transition – Third ProLango class

Today I went to the third ProLango class. It was actually the first in the series but I had missed it the first time around. Paul Anderson, writer for the Seattle Times NW jobs is the presenter. The purpose of the three sessions is to impart enough wisdom that you want to go on and take the advance classes for about $400.
Today’s class was titled: Career Search Optimization. Paul has interviewed about 35 companies and has access to many recruiters in the area. This data is used to rebuke the standard claims about how to search for a job. Paul claims that there has been major changes in just the last three years. In this down turn there has been a lot on consolidation of HR positions and with this a need to automate practices that HR people were handling before, like processing resumes.
This has caused changes like using Facebook and LinkedIn as ways to get additional information about candidates. Studies have shown that LinkedIn has better resume information than resumes turned into companies. Looking for work is frustrating. People are sometimes tempted to turn in a resume that has been enhanced in order to appear more hire able. This can be grounds to become blacklisted (see below). Also Facebook interactions are evaluated; the lesson is be careful what you put on social networks.
Also Paul claims that advertized positions now gather 900 applications per position. New ways are needed to combat the sheer volume of the entries. In addition, hiring managers at many companies are no longer able to work directly with recruiters. Some places (Paul used Microsoft as an example) have limited recruiting agencies to 4 unique resumes per position. But even with this over a thousand resumes could show up from its over 400 approved recruiter companies.
Reduction of HR and severing the recruiter link has put a huge burden on the hiring manager. Paul’s claim is that this burden is taken up by the hiring manager turning to their network and asking the network to supply suggested candidates. This is where the power of networking comes in today’s job market. A large proportion of jobs never get advertised and a large percentage of the overall jobs are obtained not through the internet application so popular today, but rather through networking contacts in person and through social media like Facebook and LinkedIn.
Paul recommends building a personalize strategy about the companies that you want to target. And then build a detailed plan about how to network your way into the company. He also advises not to apply for jobs at these target companies. Instead, work on making connections. On helping out others as you find connections into companies.
Paul talked about blacklisting of job applicants for the following reasons:

Mass Mailing Resumes
Applying for any job list (or all jobs listed)
Lying on Resume (found by comparing older version and your linked in versions)
Social Media Mistakes (behavior unbecoming a respectable employee)
Recruiter Stories (usually from ill treatment of recruiters)

I highly recommend going to the three free classes offered by Prolango. I think it helps to expand your thinking and to re-evaluate your approach. Paul claims that coming in November and December will involved some large layoffs. My suspicious side sees this as fear tactics to attend the paid classes. I think the classes would be good, but I have to weigh that against the $400 cost. So far the it hasn’t tipped the scale enough to sign up for the classes. Part of the reason is that I have seen things that I can do without the classes; changes that I can make on my own and then see what the results of these changes are.
At least one person has been having problems leaving comments on this blog. I love to get comments, they help assure me that I am not the only one getting some benefit from this blog. I prefer to get comments on the blog, because it leaves a record and I have also have hopes of this blog being less of a soliloquy and more of an interactive dialog. If you are having problems leaving messages, please feel free to email me at chrisabbey@comcast.net and I will respond as soon as I can.

Related articles

Saturday, October 02, 2010

Trisha Liver Transplant Support Fund - II

Trisha and Mark

The Share Life Fund is growing. Bracelets are now being sold by many people, a local radio station in Billings and a booth will be set up at the Big Sky Gift Show. Jenny, my niece indicated that they have sold over a hundred bracelets. I asked that they add these numbers to the chip in gadget so that we can see the change.

We, as her family and friends, have started a benefit account called Share Life! at First Interstate Bank in Billings, MT. Our goal is to raise funds to help Trisha and her live donor with expenses through these coming months. We are estimating a need of at least $15,000 to pay for the immediate necessities for the donor to give this unbelievable gift of life to Trisha. We feel that this magnitude of generosity and unselfish giving should not have a consequence of any financial burden. These costs include 1. Travel expenses for the Donor and Caregivers, 2. Living expenses for Trisha, her husband Mark, and her Donor, including food and lodging 3. Medical supplies and medications not covered by insurance.

Thank You!

Thank you for all those that have already given. If you would like to give their are two ways. First is by using a credit card or PayPal with the ChipIn! Gadget below. The other way is through purchasing Bracelets. Just let me know if you would like to purchase or sell bracelets (My Email) We are also open to other good ideas.

A Facebook Fan page is now available to join at Share Life Face Book Page. Please let others know.

Also have created a Chip In Site. This gadget can be copied to other websites and blogs.

In Trisha’s Words:

Here is a short video of Trisha, my beautiful niece:

Your gift is deeply appreciated. Thank You!

More information on Trisha

Trisha Wilson is a 27 year old native of Montana. When Trisha was 9 years old, she was diagnosed with Auto-Immune Disease of the Liver. At age 14, she was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, a disease of the large intestine (Colon).

Over the years, both diseases have progressed, leading to her placement on the Liver Transplant List at the age of 18 years.· Because of the progressive worsening of her conditions, and the severe complications the diseases have caused, Trisha and her husband, Mark, left Billings to pursue appropriate care. They moved to Phoenix, Arizona with a "leap of faith" to receive treatment at the Mayo Clinic Hospital.

The Ulcerative Colitis has progressed so severely that Trisha was scheduled to have Colon Removal Surgery (colectomy) on August 25th, 2010, as drug treatment options were exhausted and were unable to control the disease any longer.

In preparation for this surgery, it was determined that the surgery was not possible without first removing her Spleen as it is so enlarged (at least 6 times the normal size) that it is intruding on her stomach and is blocking access to the Colon. However, the spleen is so enlarged because it has been doing the work of the liver for a long time; by removing the Spleen she runs the risk of having severe Liver problems. Therefore, to remove the Colon she must have her spleen removed, and to do that she must have a Liver transplant. Most of her "issues" are due to the progression of her liver disease which has created extreme negative effects on her surrounding organs and major vein structures. As a result of these effects her body has developed a growth of new veins off of the Spleen that also must be removed. Doctors referred to these massive new vein growths that have grown as a virtual " mine field" for the surgeon. Finally, after healing from the liver transplant and spleen removal surgery, she will then have to have her large intestine (Colon) removed, as it is toxic and presents great danger to the rest of her body.

Unfortunately (and fortunately), Trisha is not eligible for a liver from a cadaver because her MELD scores are not high enough (she is at an 11 and most patients don't have a liver transplant until they are around a 20), as set forth by the governing authorities for organ placement in 2002. It is her extenuating circumstances that lead her to the need of the Liver transplant. Therefore, her only option is to receive a partial liver transplant from a living donor; someone who is willing to donate part of their liver, has Type B blood, is physically able to go through the surgery, and passes all the required tests to donate. The live donor will give part of the right lobe of their liver to Trisha. Trisha's body will then continue to grow her liver off of the donor's piece and the donor will regrow their liver to full capacity within 4 weeks time. Truly an amazing gift!

The costs for a live donor transplant are very high, and while Trisha and her husband do have health insurance, there are many costs that aren't covered by insurance.

- Our long term goal is to help bring awareness to live donations and the need to "Share" with those who's medical problems can be helped in this way. We also intend to help support the "Transplant House" in Scottsdale, Arizona, where many transplant patients stay to heal after their surgery.If you are touched by Trisha's story, and would like to help her through contributing funds or spreading her story to others, please share this link.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Day 157- Transition - Feelings just below the surface

It is over 5 months now without work. The Last severance check came today. From this time on, our monthly expenses will be exceeding our monthly income unless we can make some big cuts.
This ending has caused quite a bit of anxiety, dread, and even fear to surface. There has been fear and anxiety all through this experience, but the last couple weeks has seemed worse. Somewhere in the back of my mind I had assumed that I would be hired by now. That we would be set back some, but that we would be able to get up and get going fairly rapidly.
As I have prepared myself for this interruption in my career, I have thought about the long term, about being unemployed for a long time. And I have meet many people that have been out of work for well over a year as reminders not to forget this reality of our present times.   And with all of that, somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I had held onto an anticipation that I would be hired by now. That I would find that perfect job and begin again: a new company, a new position, a wealth of learning, a temporary side journey, a nuisance of sorts: but not an overwhelming obstacle.
It has been the clinging to this thought, that has caused my turmoil over the last few weeks. The fear of losing this and entering an unknown territory.
Fear is a constricting emotion. On the savannah, when the lions were hunting, this fear caused our attention to narrow. We stopped being able to see the berries or grub worms that would make a great meal, and instead we would intently listen for any noise and scan for any movement of a large cat. This emotion would keep us alive.
Today the emotion is not always so useful. My narrowing has meant frantic motion to find a job. The narrowing has meant that I have forgone exercising and working on the remodel. The house hasn’t been as well maintained. Last week with my wife out of town, I didn’t take the time to prepare a weekly meal plan. I’m sure this probably cost us extra in groceries.
Last week I went to the ProLango training sessions, (see day 153). These are good classes, and they are feeder classes for the paid set of course that accompany them.   One of the claims of the class is, “You need to get going. There are several large companies, especially a huge software company in town that is planning to lay off thousands near Christmas. You have to get hired before you have to compete with these also. “
Was it just a sales tactic? Was it true? In either case it played on that fear that I was feeling. It increased the anxiety that I was feeling. It made me consider whether I should I be signing up for the next classes.
I think I need to do a few things to counter act this fear that I am feeling. The first is to release what ever anticipation I was holding about how the future was supose to work. This journey will take as long as it takes. What I need to do is to make the next step and every step is the best that I can. I have to work hard to find a new job, I have to do uncomfortable and unfamiliar things, and I have to learn new ways of being. But I have been doing this since the start so this isn’t something new.
I need to take a longer look and see what has been working and what needs to change since the start and use this as the basis for improving what I have been doing. Not let fear or other emotions control what I am doing.
Months ago, I made some crude estimates about finances and I have used this rough estimate up to now. It is time that this get a bit more detailed. I need to get a fairly accurate plan of our finances for the next couple of years. I’m hoping this doesn’t involve tons of work. But this plan will help relieve some anxiety of the unknown.
And lastly, I need to look for the ways that keep my attention opened up. Exercising and meditating are great at this.   I had cut down on exercising because I injured my foot, now it is time to get back to full speed. Taking small periods of time to meditate would be beneficial in many different ways.   A third area that helps my open my attention is by spending time in nature. This I can combine with the exercising to gain great benefit.

To often we underestimate how quickly our feelings are going to change because we underestimate our ability to change them.

-- David Gilbert, Ph.D

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Day 153 – Good Courses to Take

This week I attended 2 of 3 workshops offered ProLango. Paul Anderson, a Seattle Times columnist, one of two that writes the HireGround, does the presentation and is one of the principles of ProLango. These free workshops are offered twice per month and are a feeder for the more advanced workshops that he charges for.
The three workshops are:

Career Search Optimization: Today's Job Market Demystified

Resume Search Optimization: Get Noticed!

Advanced Interviewing: Secrets Behind Decision Making

Career Search Optimization is the one that I missed.
Resume Search optimization deals with how companies process the 900+ applications they receive for each position advertised and how to get noticed in this crowd. Little things like handing your resume to someone and having them read it for 7 seconds. How far do they get. This is an average amount of time a HR representative spends reading your resume. Does this leave the person with the impression that you intended? Does it convey the information need in order to insure that you move on to the next step in the getting the interview?
He talked about rewriting your resume for each and every job application. First for the computer matching the key words found in the job requisition. Second, for the HR person. And third, the most important the reading by the hiring manager.
Of course, what you really want to be aiming at is circumventing this process by getting to the hiring manager first. This is where the networking aspect comes in.
This workshop has me reevaluating my processes. I have gotten away from doing the deep text analysis that I was doing early on, now I have started doing this again. I have become more aggressive in rewriting my resume to fit the job. And this has reinvigorated my actions.
The advance interviewing process touched on the normal things like getting prepared through research and dressing right though the biggest part of the message had to do more with the psychological parts of the interview like building rapport and behavior types.
Mirroring is a great technique for quickly building rapport with others. Paul indicated that paying attention to the style of person you are dealing with:

Visual – rapid speech and breathing, looks up. Uses visual words like “I see what you mean.
Verbal – slower speech and breathing. looks more straight out. Uses verbal words like “I hear that”
Kinesthetic- Slow talker and slowest breathing as they translate feelings/emotions into words. Tends to look down. Uses feeling words: “I feel your pain.”

One way to mirror is to change your style to match the style of the interviewer. What we didn’t get into, which Paul said is covered for an 1/2 hour in the advance classes is how to do this with an interview panel.
The next level of mirroring is where you copy the movements

of the interviewer as best you can without appearing sarcastic. These are techniques that Tony Robins talks about in his works like the book “Unlimited Power.”
I felt the two workshops that I attended were great and highly recommend that people go to these. They have been working on my thinking and my approach all week. I will have to struggle with whether to take the advance courses. They are reasonably priced at $400 for 3 courses at 4 hour, but $400 is something that has to be deeply considered now.
My first step will be to attend the one that I missed, career search optimization. Others that I talked to indicated that it was really good also. Then I will try to implement as much as I can myself and then see the results I get. Then I will consider whether it is worth it to spend the money.

True clarity can come only when someone is willing to notice: There is something I do not know, the knowing of which could change everything.
-- Werner Erhard

Trisha’s poster

Living donor candidate is flying to Phoenix this week for final determination of match. Hopefully, this will put in motion the final preparations for Trisha’s liver transplant and eventual health.

Donations will be used to offset the cost to the living donor/care givers which is not covered by insurance.

Here is a poster for the fundraiser

To donate click on the chip in button in the last post.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Day 145 - Transition – Two sides, same coin

Heads,

I attended last week’s networking session at WorkSource. This has been a great resource. They try to get a guest speaker each week, but this week for some unknown reason he didn’t make it. Not to worry, the organizers broke us into small groups to improve our networking. We went around the table introduced ourselves, gave a little background and then explained what we were looking for. Those that had written their elevator speeches could try them out. We spent about 20 minutes per table and switched tables for a total of three rounds.

What struck me, well maybe scared me is a better word, was the number of people that had been out of work for 1 1/2 years or more. At first, I thought, well maybe I can detect something wrong with them. Something that would explain we they were out of work so long. But that isn’t what going on here. These were all outstanding people, caught up in this economic turmoil. One gal added a few months because she needed to take care of her parents, other than that I didn’t find that magic “Oh, that explains it.” They were all normal people, with families, wanting to work, looking for work, and not able to find it.

Years ago Boeing used the layoff cycle to get rid of dead wood, people so down trodden by the large corporate system that they have given up. I remember years ago coming into work and seeing people bring a newspaper or Wall Street Journal in and then proceed to read it from cover to cover. Their jobs only needed their attention part of the day. Many of these jobs had been built into the system this way or had changed as new technology came on board. It was these types of jobs that earned Boeing the name Lazy B. Through many years of re-organization after re-organization, cut after cut, these jobs all disappeared. Now each round of cuts is deep. The march of technology and productivity continues to cut deeper.

Before I was laid off, I thought I was immune to the cuts. Boy was I living in “la la land”. I have friends I know that were laid off from Boeing, some have been looking for work much longer than I have. I have been looking for over 4 months, not counting the pre-layoff looking and I keep thinking that the right position is right around the corner. Keep thinking that the economic recovery is just around the corner.

Now, I’m wondering if I have still have my head in “la la land”. The idea of going another year or more looking for work is chilling to think about. I wonder what the ramifications for my family will be. I wonder how deeply the cuts will be, and how long the wounds will take to heal. And I wonder about my fortitude to get through this.

These thoughts tend to take me out of the here and now, and make me worry about the future that is guaranteed to different than my thoughts about it.

The Flip Side,

A friend just found work. He had been looking for over 16 months. He found a great job working with a great organization. After thinking about it, he was thankful for all the time he had spent looking. It may not have been what he wanted but looking back it was what he needed.

Others have said the same. While they wouldn’t wish it on anyone, and they wouldn’t want to have to go through it again, all the same, it was a time that they wouldn’t give up and was important in the growth it provided.

Trying times are like this; the spirit works in nontraditional ways. When times are good and everything is happening along the lines of our expectations, it is like we fall asleep somewhere along the way or get lazy in our ability to stay focused. Trying times aren’t the times that we hope for, but they wake us up and can be a time of tremendous growth, especially spiritually.

So in this way, I look forward to the trials and tribulations that are here and coming around the corner. Not for martyrdom or mortification, but for the opportunity to grow, to become deeper in spirit.

This leads me to thoughts about how I can best use this time for this growth. My feeling is that what ever preconceived thoughts about where and how this growth will happen will be wrong. So the best answer I have come up with is to try to remain present; to try to see and understand all that is happening and then to deeply reflect upon it. And through this reflection, try to become a better person—try to become a better husband, father, brother, and friend.

I gave 22 years toiling at Boeing and I toiled for several years before Boeing. When all is said and done, this interruption, this pause between the in breath and out breath, will be but a passing moment in a long life. A passing moment that holds the promise of great growth.

The idea behind footprints in the sand is of great comfort to me. More than once in my life I felt carried through times when hope was lost. And each time, I came out the other side stronger and more thankful.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Remodel - Great progress.

In my last blog I wrote about how unexpected things come up and change the plan. I talked about my oldest brother coming to town as a care giver for a liver transplant patient. The benefits of this on the remodeling was that he helped my with taking out the sheet rock in the basement, so great progress has been made in the basement this last week.

Here are some before pictures on the basement:

Day 136 - Transition – Life by a thousand pats on the back

Image via Wikipedia

Have been looking at my productivity or value in a number of different ways over the past few weeks.

As the time grinds on, it is hard to maintain a positive perspective on the process of finding a job in this economy. Maintaining a positive perspective has many different aspects and through this journey a change that has taken place in when I feel valued. When I feel more valued, my perspective is more positive.

When working, each two weeks Boeing would send a fat check to confirm that value that I was bringing to the corporation. Now with severance and unemployment, I’m getting paid for past value and not for present value creation and at times I have wondered if I am bringing any value.

I have at least three areas of value creation or service that I am still working. The first being a stay at home Dad and taking care of the house and meals. And the second being my house remodel. The third is in improving my health.

Looking for a job is a necessary activity, and I receive positive psychological rewards when a great job requisition is found, the call comes in to interview, or just going through an interview process. But there is also stress related to the not hearing, my lack of patience, and then the death by a thousand paper cuts from the little rejections received on a daily basis. This seems like a different than providing value.

See more on keeping positive…

Day 124 transition – This officially sucks—mostly.

Well it has been a little over 6 months since this ordeal began, and about 4 months since being laid off. Time to take stock and look at the macro level to see what has been happening.
Looking for work in the worse job market in decades is not fun. In fact, it sucks. It seems that things are getting better, (there seems to me to be more jobs to look at), but the pace of job growth is dismally slow. This combined with the number people out looking is making it very tough. Also, I read an article today that companies are trying harder to make better employment decision in the first place, which translate into longer time to evaluate candidates up to twice as long to make decisions.

Unemployment 1890 to 2008

Unemployment Jan 2007 – Jan 2010

It is not just the unemployed that are looking. I have friends at Boeing that have decided it is time to leave. Several are beginning the process of building up their resumes and dipping their feet in the waters of job searching. Protecting what they have, but giving up the dream of staying with Boeing. My point is there are many employed people that are looking to change positions or companies and are actively out looking.
So far, I have had 78 job applications or interviews. Accompanied by 61 rejections. John Gottman the relationship expert says that in order to have healthy relationships you need to have a 5 to 1 ratio of positive interactions to negative interactions. Unless somebody radically changes the job hunting process, I will never be able to build a healthy relationship with job hunting.
My hope lies in the current 17 open job requisitions which have not responded, some date back to May. Not saying that one of the local airplane manufactures is slow, but I have given up hope that I will be getting a call these. I dare them. I double Dare them. Hell, I Double Dog Dare them to prove me wrong.
So how am I doing on the other things I was trying to accomplish. I wanted to do more than just job hunt. I had the following areas that I wanted to focus on:

Find a Job (Priority 1)
Be a great stay at home Dad
Get healthy (lose weight and get in better shape)
Remodel the house
Define a non profit that I have been thinking about.

Finding a job.

This progresses, but I feel like a failure here. I keep bashing my head against the wall and hoping that it busts through soon. This is a class the I feel I’m trying hard, but so far I don’t quite understand what the teacher is looking for. I would say I get a C here.

Being a stay at home Dad.

I think I’m being more good than great. I have been focusing on other areas and could keep the house cleaner. It isn’t bad, just still trying to find the right mix of when things need to be cleaned and developing the self discipline to complete the task when it comes up.
I believe that we are eating healthier and I pretty happy about that. I use more whole grains and have tried to reduce the amount of corn syrup. Also, the amount of fruit in our diet has gone up.

Getting healthy.

Here it is a mixed bag. I have done lousy in the exercise department over the last month because I injure my foot and have tried to let it heal. It doesn’t seem to be getting much better. So I may try building up my walking again. I could also be lifting weights, but I have been bad about getting over there. I hope to improve in this area significantly in September.

Main complications of persistent high blood pr...

Image via WikipediaLosing weight I’m doing great, at least for me. I’m not at the Biggest Loser level that you see on TV, but I’m afraid people’s addiction to quick changes is what holds many people back. I am much more satisfied to slowly take it off and then work to keep it off. Since the beginning of the year I lost over 15 lbs. I still have a ways to go to get to my perfect weight, but I am starting to see and feel the difference. My blood pressure has been trending down since the beginning of the year and if it keeps going the way that it is, I should be able to stop my medication before long.
So over all, I give myself a B in this area. A B that I am pretty happy with. If I can get back at the exercise, then I will have an A in this area.

Remodeling the house.

This is going slowly but we are making progress and September promises to be a month of big changes here. The master bath is being rebuilt this week and by next Friday we could be able to take showers in there (using a temporary shower curtain instead of a door that will have to be ordered.
In the basement the tear down is proceeding and hopefully by the end of next week will be complete. We have the cabinets in for both bathrooms and the old bar area. And we have the tub in to replace it. We are waiting for the other shower to get operational before tearing into the main bath.
I am meeting with a Sheet Rocker tonight and will find out what he can do. He has a regular job, so he will only be able to work nights and weekends. I have seen his work and it is great. I’m excited to get this going.
We are trying to figure out what we want for electrical, carpet, and other colors downstairs and in the main bath. So we once again have samples laying around the house.
In this area, I give us an B- with most of the grade coming in September.

Defining a non-profit.

Here I have done great. I have thought about this and decided that I idea that I had was not worth pursuing . There are many institutions that are out their, adding another one isn’t of great value. Many later on I will get back to this, but for now this is complete. This turned out to be a Pass/Fail endeavor and I ended up with a Pass.
I titled this the officially sucks, mostly. It has it good points. I am in better health physically and mentally than I was in February when this all started. I feel that I am closer to my kids, than I would have been if my job would have continued. I feel that I am having more of an effect in their lives than if I was working over this whole summer. Could I have done better, you bet you, but the progress I have made is good and I like that I have been given the chance to change my focus. I feel less stressed, I think that is why the weight is coming off; I’m doing less stress related stuffing of my mouth out of boredom.
The hardest part with this all is in the inability to have enough structure to plan for the future. Instead, every day is a work day, a day to do something related to looking for work. Others things are thrown in as best I can.

Overall

My nervousness has gone up in the fourth month. I can feel the end of my severance pay coming up. The unemployment checks are a welcomed addition to our finances, but it is not enough to sustain us with one in college and another one headed that way. We are comfortable, not at our wits end yet. We are lucky to have all that we do, and I wish we had a little more stability that we could bank on. I appreciate the chance to improve in others areas than just being a working stiff.
I pray for the many, many people that are worse off than we are.
Today’s quote, I think as a society we have a lot of this that we must do. I know I have to work hard at getting my heart in order:

To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.
-- Confucius

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Remodel Update – Forward progress

Finally, getting tile installers lined up, now we have too many. We signed up for one person to come in on Oct 4 to do the master bath shower and floor area. And then I received another reference. He was on vacation to start with, so when we were talking to the other contractors, we couldn’t with him.
Finally made contact Saturday, received a bid in Sunday. His price is about 30% higher, but they, (it is actually two partners), can start this week. Even at 30% higher, it is 1/2 of some of our other bids.
We are still signed up for the other guy on Oct 4th; we may keep this date while I get the main bath prepared to be updated. Though I’m very concerned that I won’t be able to make that date. due to the overlap of this tile job, letting it all cure, and ordering and installing the shower door. However long that all takes, would then be subtracted off the dates between now and Oct 4, since I can’t start in the Main bath until the Master is operational again.
In Order to get a good idea the tile design, we laid it out on the living room floor. Alex was instrumental in coming up with the tile pattern. It is great how the remodeling is pulling us closer as a family. In my opinion, that alone is worth the money invested.
Here is the general idea:

This first picture is a little dark. The stones represent the floor of shower.

Day 120 – Transition - FEAR

I try to attend the Lynnwood WorkSource networking group every Monday morning. The last few have been especially good. Today’s was presented by Dr. Elisabeth VanderWeil and she title the presentation: Fear: Use it or Be Used Up by It. Her presentation was good and the conversation it generated in the group was excellent. Part of the allure of the networking group is in being able to relate and network with people in the same boat and having the same feelings.
I thought I would share the notes that I took here since this is not just good for someone going through unemployment, but also pertains all facets of our daily lives.
People think of fear as a one size fits all. Fear of spiders and fear of speed can seem like the same things. But fear comes in all sorts of the shapes, sizes, degrees and types. Fear is as complicated an emotion as Love is.

Flavors of Fear

Alarm	Dismay	Intimidation
Apprehension	Dread	Panic
Awe	Fright	Reverence
Anxiety	Horror	Timid
Concern	Terror	Veneration
Consternation	Hysteria	Worry
Creeps

Questions that help you define and work with fear:

	Where do you feel your fear?
How high is the Volume (Intensity)?		What is it telling You?
	How will you (do you choose to) respond?

Range of responses:

FIGHT	FLIGHT	FREEZE
Overcome feared object	Flee feared object	Stop to assess feared object

FAKE	CARE	CONNECT
Change appearance or sound to drive away feared object	Address needs of feared object	Establish relationship with feared object

Learning to be able to use the full range of responses and to be able to sit with fear a bit is important.
The full experience of fear includes the full range of responses. to use fear to achieve your goals is the determine how feeling scared can be healthy, a gift, the door to creative solutions, and the ultimate alert system to draw your attention to what is truly important for you right now.
We listened to this song and then commented on the lyrics.

The Power of Fear
We all have fears and we all have power. An exercise we did was to go around the room and give a place where we have power or gain power.

“Where there is fear, there’s power. It also works backwards. Where there’s power there is fear. We’re afraid to look at power because one of the deepest prohibitions is that against seeing how power operates.”
- Starhawk

How are you wielding your power?
What is the source of the power influencing you right now?
How much fear comes up when you “touch” that power?
What level of risk are you willing to accept to achieve your goal?

To be afraid of something is proof positive that it hasn’t happened.
- Galvin deBecker

Know you power. Know what brings you joy. This is your life, the life that you are continuously creating. Don’t compare yourself to others. Comparison=Misery.

An exercise for working with fear:

Create the image of a fearful situation in your mind. Be detailed. You brain doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is made up. The fears that would arise in the real situation should arise in the simulation. And then you can practice on your responses.

Write down the image in detail

Note how and where you are feeling fear.

What experiences from the past might help you in this situation. Bring them into the simulation.

What new responses could you try out?

This is not a one time exercise, but rather a exercise you repeated practice so that you new responses come automatically.
Another tool is the center with you breath.

References:
A film that was mentioned as an example of how we create our reality: