The whole time I was at Boeing, I had never thought that I was close to a lay off. I was always rated among the top of what ever group I happened to be in. I always strived to give 110% and had a hard time ever constraining myself to normal work hours with whatever I was working on or studying.
So to be unemployed at all is a shock to my system and to my ego that had (and still has) a protestant/Mid-West belief in the goodness and ultimate rewards of hard work. This is made all the worse by finding myself struggling for employment in which some economist consider the worse economic times since the great depression of the 1930’s.
Keeping my spirits up during these times is a constant consideration. Listening about the gulf coast disaster (which must be having negative effects on our economy); hearing about the debt crisis in Europe; and the general lack luster ability of our economy to grab a steady foothold and make forward progress to get out of this economic mess—all acts as an albatross to keeping up a positive spirit.
Keeping a positive outlook is important to me for a number of reasons. A lot of studies have have shown that being upbeat reduces stress, depression, increase the immune system and has a positive effects on hormones within the body, so much scientific evidence points to better outcomes due to positive mind states. In spiritual traditions, overcoming the negative emotions and desires are the prime steps along the spiritual path. Thought processes such as greed and delusion are to be replace with empathy, caring and respect.
But the biggest reasons for battling the feelings of negativity is that is just isn’t any fun to be in the dumps. Life is going on right now, it isn’t something that I’m planning to start up again once I find a job. Life is right now, I want to enjoy the journey I’m on right now. Life is too precious to give up this time of between jobs.
I love learning, and I have been learning a lot over the past few months. I have been learning a lot about myself. I have been learning a lot about job searching and how this has changed in the last 22 years since I was last in it. And I have learned that I have a much better perspective on life now than I would have say 10 years ago. I have a much greater faith in the spiritual side; especially in a belief that I am in the perfect place right now. That everything has led me to this place and this is the right place to launch the rest of my life.
This isn’t a side trip; This isn’t a detour. This is the journey; this is the cruise that I signed up for before my mother knew my face.
I have been able to notice the emotions that have been coming up and there have been a multitude. I have been able to do this without getting sucked deeply into the emotions. When I get sucked into a emotion, it gives rise to a lot of secondary emotions and especially fears arise. When I allow myself to go on this downward spiraling journey, I quickly lose track of the original trigger in a cascade of thoughts and impressions. This has been one of my biggest successes—being able to able to stay with an emotion without it growing into a run away train.
Being able to sit with my emotions has been powerful for me. This has changed considerably from when I first heard of my layoff. The emotions do not cut as deep as they did then—they aren’t as raw as they were. I can still see the effects of moods that are waxing and waning over a period of days or weeks. And I can see the effects of emotions that are firing up all the time, creating a rich and beautiful tapestry to my day to day experiences. But my emotions have generally improved and evened out since this beginning this layoff.
Of course, I do get sucked into negativity more often than I would like. But I see it faster and can take steps to counteract it midstream instead of long afterward when its ill effects are washed way downstream.
I still worry about finding a job, about making through the economics of the day, and about being able to support my kids through college. And this worry is balanced somewhat by a faith in the future—a faith that by having the best of intentions and a desire to help others and the world as a whole that things will work out better. That opportunity will come when the student is ready.
This morning I read a quote of the Dalai Lama that has been resonating with me all day. A quote that I think is important for us that are looking to what our next steps are and this quote has inspired much of the thinking in this post.
So today’s quote is:
If you develop a pure and sincere motivation, if you are motivated by a wish to help on the basis of kindness, compassion, and respect, then you can carry on any kind of work, in any field, and function more effectively.
--Dalai Lama
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