The day started out good. I had completed my walk and was feeling centered when I met a co-worker for coffee and conversation. It was a great, Thank You. We talked for about an hour, traded stories and suggestions. Walked away feeling great.
Headed home and emailed an executive that has also received a warn notice. This is someone that I have known most of my Boeing career. In addition to passing on the networking possibility of the inSite group and sending the link to this blog for her use, if helpful; I also extended the offer of personal help and to stay connected. There is an additional veil of secrecy when you are an executive in this situation, it is unfortunate and can get covered in official fabrications.
Next, drove into the office for my first staff meeting since the notice. It was edgy, I’m not sure if I was the only one feeling it. But I felt kind of “not at home” or out of place—never felt that at Boeing before. Not sure if I should speak up or be a wall flower. And the talk about the business was so uninteresting—this may be from being so centered on my own personal future. I did add a couple things to the conversation and it was nice to be with everyone. Even though it felt somewhat uncomfortable staying connected is important and I plan on continuing to attend these weekly meetings.
Then had my first meeting with my manager since the speaker phone warn notice meeting. It was hard, and emotional. Consolation prize: I did get a raise and it was the shortest Performance Management define session that I have ever had. This is where we set our goals for the year, mine are pretty easy this year. Sometimes when I have gotten a raise we would go out to dinner to celebrate. We didn’t tonight.
The emotions, which I thought I had pretty under control, came back up to the surface through these last two meetings. But now I feel much better. In the weeks to come, I’m sure there will be other wallowing in this pond.
One of the dichotomies that I have been working with is one between following my passion which leads to the job of dreams and the more pragmatic “Just get the job”. The pragmatic wants to send out 1500 resumes addressed to dear sir stating “please check out my resume and get back to me”. The idea behind this is the same as the Nigerian Prince who just needs some honest soul to cash his check, which he will gladly pay 10% back on as a reward. Send out a million and somebody will answer. I wonder what the percentage of people answering the Nigerian Prince are hiring managers.
The pragmatic side also wants to get applications out there and to keep moving forward—this is goodness.
The passion side knows that constructing the right resume will lead to the type of jobs that I am truly qualified for and in which I can pass the interview because my passion for the work will come through. The passion side believes that taking the time is an investment that will cut down the overall search time.
The more pragmatically driven I am, then the more I feel anxious, fearful, worried, and behind. The more I am moved from my passions then the calmer, happier, clear headed and blessed I feel. The pragmatic side appeared after the initial shock worn down; the passion side has been growing as my calm has been returning.
Several people would like to pursue legal action against Boeing in an age discrimination action. At times I have felt this also, but I see this as a personal trap. I see it as part of the pragmatic side, wouldn’t an easy way to get through this be by having someone pay me a lot of money. It’s a trap because it takes time away from what needs to get done. It releases me from having to think about how I got in this place and for taking responsibility for where I am right now.
It also presupposes that I have been wronged into the position I find myself in now. An alternative view, a more spiritual and passionate view, is the universe has conspired to give me just what I need right now in my life. By pursuing the pragmatic side too heavily, I can easily cut off the whole passion/spiritual side.
There are threads in my life that I see coming together over a period of several years that have lead to where I am now. And the more I can get my ego out of the way, stay centered, and allow things to happen with an open heart the better off I believe I will be. And this all starts with a bit of Faith.
I don’t want to destroy the pragmatic side because it helps drive results, but I think it needs to be in servitude to following my heart’s passions. I just hope this will keep the bills paid.
Tomorrow: Changing resume to a combination style.
inSite Group: 44 members
Jobs applied for: 17
Rejections: 2
Job Posting withdrawn: 1
Lost a person from inSite group, I hope that means they found a job.
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